The problem with perfect hair

When you have perfect hair, like myself, there a big problem arises when you go to get it cut. No matter who does it, or what they do to it, they just can't make it look better then when it grows on its own. All they end up doing is making you look like a penis. Then you have to wait a week or two for your perfect hair to correct itself by growing out. I guess it must be real intimidating for someone like me to walk into a barber shop or the hair cuttery. Today when I went, I could see the fear in the woman's eyes when I walked in. She must have been saying, "Why in all the hair cuttery's in all the world, did he have to walk into mine." I would imagine it would be like Jesus walking into a church service. What pastor could enjoy that? I mean no matter how well they speak and or what they say, they can't beat Jesus. You really start to notice it when they ask you not to come back anymore. They say, "We just can't bring ourselves to cut your hair, please find somewhere else to go." Sometimes, they don't even say anything, they just stand there and pet your head. Every once and awhile you get someone new, who just can't recognize the privilege that has been placed in their chair. They are the ones that ask, "Do you want some product in your hair?" Most of the time the manager is steps in a pulls them a side, apologizing spewing from their mouth, and tells them "You jackass! To put product in hair like that is like putting a silly puddy all over the Sistine Chapel." But I usually step in an explain that sometimes people stop thinking when they around me. It is just another problem that comes with having perfect hair.