Open Letter

Dear person who stole the front wheel of my bike,
Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something? It's *my* front wheel! What did you think, that I'd -- I'd drive home and not notice it was stolen? What are you then? Some sort of *prick*? Some sort of idiot? Some sort of thief? What would you do with just my front wheel anyway? What good would just one wheel be? You human loser! Well, why didn't you buy your own wheel if you wanted one so badly. That's what I did. Well, don't you think I need that wheel? Well, well, what were you thinking? JERK!
Steve