Blue October

So recently the radio has been playing this song by Blue October that pretty much fits perfectly with the way I felt this past fall (Which is iroinc since the name of the band is Blue October) and from time to time, now:

I have to block out thoughts of you, so i don't loose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you care about me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is you that wanted this

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinoins on things like Christianity
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in my heart to leave you behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me and wait, yeah wait for it to swollow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

And when the sad hard eyes say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I found out I can't make it go away, just make it stop
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How could you did this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
.
Now a changed word or two, and omitted a line about alcholism (I am not there yet) but it is strange because it fits in perfectly to how i felt this past fall, and like a siad, from time to time, i still feel today...