Classic Remix

Today I had a very...well...interesting and informative conversation with Remix. I found it very fit to share with everyone. It all started with a question about my blog entry yesterday.
Remix: Whats a track?
Me: it is a little pamphlet that people hand out that tells you are a sinner and that you are going to hell and everything you do makes God cry
Remix: ah one of those, well get your self some milk and cookies, pull up a comfy chair, and have your self a good read with that one
Me: i have quite the collection
Me: this all may be steming from the time i got really drunk in orlando at a bar with murph and some friends, and there were baptist on the street corner telling us we were going to hell and i stopped and gave him a peice of my mind
Remix: like a slice or just smashed it all in their faces?
Me: oh i grabbed the bible from his hand and gave it to him good
Remix: you didn't stomp a baptist in the street did you?
Me: i was close, maybe after one more shot of whiskey, but i was quoting christ left and right and mr baptist could only mange quotes from paul...now paul is a good guy, but jesus is like the trump card, he is like 4 lerpchans
Remix: but twice as hard to catch. Yeah that Paul, always getting himself into trouble
Me: maybe if he did kill all those christians, but that probably was due to the rock and roll he listened to when he was a teenager
Me: There was something about paul i never understood, i mean here he was as saul kicking people's asses and stomping christians left and right, then god was like, whoa that aint cool, let me blind you with my radient presence and then you can come work for me as a paul, but then paul was suppse to be this old cripple dude who need a doctors car 24/7, which was luke
Remix: yeah rock and roll and video games. Breeding murders one track and level at a time
Remix: really? so what happened to that whole thing then?
Me: that is what i dont understand
Me: i mean were we gettting are asses kicked by an old crippled dude, or did he have minions, or did god like make him old and crippled when he blinded him, or did wizards do it?
Me: what is the deal with Paul
Remix: The deal with Paul is, if you cross him, he will bring the hammer down on you. Blind people are like super humans with incredible senses and butt kicking abilities. His oldness hid his true abilities
Me: yet jesus still trumps him
Remix: thats because Jesus is the freaken one.
Me: he is like neo
Me: and paul is like morpheus
Remix: Yeah but more built and less whiny and violent
Remix: yeah but less... bald and black
Remix: except Jesus recruited Paul...hmmm this is tricky
Me: and who is trinity, the holy spirit, dave matthews mary mag, or peter?
Remix: um I'm thinkin its the holy spirit, Jesus, and the cool ai.. I mean God
Me: does that make John the baptist the oricale?
Remix: Quite possibly, then who is Agent Smith or I suppose we already know that
Me: i think he is more the anti-christ as a posed to the devil
Me: i mean, he was born from the evil, he wasn't the creator of it
Remix: ah yeah this is true, though he didn't try to gain the people's trust or anything though I suppose when you use the people's to clone your self your clones will trust you
Me: the devil would be the dude that had the tv's in that room
Remix: but he wasn't really a bad guy
Remix: then would Smith have come from him or the machines?
Me: he enslaved the entire human race
Me: that would be a pretty bad thing
Me: atleast in my books
Me: this is sad we just compared the entire basis of our core beliefs to a movie
Remix: yeah, well technically 3 movies but who's counting. Yet another thing to add to the list of terrible terrible things I've done
Me: hey but havent we concluded that you are atleast going to make it to pergatory with all the un baptised babies
Remix: yeah, I'll make my way out in due time
Remix: and have an awesome crew of baby minions
Me: I think can see disney hercules Jesus rescuing you
Remix: yeah he would. Jesus the adventurer
Me: like when he dove into the river of souls to rescue his girlfriend
Me: so basically you are Jesus' girlfriend
Me: you are like a nun
Remix: ...that's just awkward, I was thinkin more like his homeboy
Me: so what have we learned today:
Me: 1 getting drunk and debating bapist can be fun, but isnt recomended unless you have Jesus covering your back
Me: and they only have paul
Remix: there should be some sort of christian battle cards that you can use to visualize this all
Remix: oh wait we have magic the christianing, all right!
Me: isnt it like redemption and youth camp uses it
Me: sounds like the work of the devil if youth camp uses it
Remix: oh that youth camp, good times...I think
Remix: ok here you go Jesus would have a theme song that would be all like how he was an adventurer and a warrior with out fear... like this one but just with Jesus instead of Conan http://www.retrojunk.com/details_tvshows/1029-conan-the-adventurer/691
Me: you hit the nail on the head my friend, the nail on the head
Remix: Yeah, I mean with out Jesus those darn serpent men would be running free and doing as they please
Me: so the second thing that we learned today is that Jesus is like Neo, Disney Hercules, and Conan the Adventurer all rolled up into one
Remix: Well he is technically like a He-Man and the apostles would be like the masters of the universe
Remix: He's trying to protect the secrets of castle gray skull and all from the evil Skeletor
Me: but he-man was gay
Remix: no he wasn't, no way...shut up...
Me: hey that is what michael ian black said
Me: and he was in wet hot american summer, where he played a gay dude, so i think he knows
Remix: he lies, that liar, with his lies...how about the new He-Man then?
phillysportsfrek: what is that though, I'm-out-of-the-closet He-Man
Me: isnt that just what "The New He-Man" is saying
Me: you need to get some truth in your life my brotha, you are in denial, just like you are in denial about almost hitting that 1 year old girl with your car
Remix: well I don't think she was one and I think we all walked away fine so what does she want to start something or what?
Me: are you picking a fight with a 6 month old girl?
Me: oh remix....you something else, you are a classic
Remix: hey she wants to throw down then we can do this